If you know me, you know I don’t dabble. When I commit, I’m ALL in – like rearranging-my-entire-pantry-for-a-new-diet-plan in. It’s the same energy that’s helped me crush goals and juggle life’s chaos with the enthusiasm of someone who thinks sleep is optional. But here’s the thing: being an all-or-nothing kind of woman has its downside, especially after 40. Turns out, living in overdrive isn’t sustainable (who knew?), and spoiler alert – it doesn’t leave much room for prioritizing me.
Cue Atomic Habits by James Clear, a book that practically jumped off the shelf and said, “Girl, sit down, we need to talk.” It was a wake-up call wrapped in practical advice, showing me that the small things – yes, small – can spark real, lasting change. No crash diets. No 10-step morning routines. Just tiny, consistent shifts that help me show up for myself in ways that feel doable.
Here’s the story of how I learned to dial down perfectionism, embrace progress, and finally start living a life that feels like mine again. Psst…you can do it too.
Once upon a time, I rolled my eyes at the idea of “small changes.” I mean, why sip water when you can chug a gallon and revolutionize your hydration game? But Atomic Habits taught me that small is where the magic happens.
Now, I focus on bite-sized shifts that don’t make me want to run screaming into the night. Drinking an extra glass of water? Sure. A five-minute stretch in the morning? Doable. These changes aren’t about overhauling my life in one fell swoop (a habit of mine). Instead, they’re like whispers of self-care that fit seamlessly into my day.
And you know what? They work. These micro-investments add up, creating a ripple effect that feels less like a chore and more like a gift I’m giving myself.
That was a lightbulb moment from Atomic Habits: instead of obsessing over what you want to do, think about who you want to be. So, instead of saying, “I want to get fit,” I’ve started saying, “I am someone who moves her body because it feels good.”
This tweak might sound like semantics, but trust me – it’s a game-changer. When I show up as “the kind of person who prioritizes herself,” every choice feels like a reflection of me, not some external to-do list. I’m not chasing an outcome; I’m embodying an identity.
So now, when I take a morning walk or opt for the kale salad over the fries (well, sometimes), I’m not “on a plan.” I’m simply being the woman I want to be: happy, energized, and present.
Want to know my secret to drink more water? It’s not a fancy app or a reminder on my phone – it’s leaving my favorite water bottle right where I’ll see it. Creating a supportive environment makes my goals almost effortless.
Another trick? Music. Whether I’m cooking (I still should do more of this!), cleaning, or just hanging out, the right playlist transforms my mood and mindset. Nothing says “you’ve got this” like Bruno Mars blasting through the speakers while I prep a salad (okay, fine, it’s sometimes a pizza).
And here’s a big one: I’ve learned to ask for help. Being the oldest sibling and an ENTJ, I’ve often taken on the role of the “doer” and the one people look to for guidance. Letting those closest to me know what I’m working on not only brings them into the journey, it keeps me accountable. It turns out, I don’t have to do it all alone. Who knew?
Raise your hand if you’ve ever aimed for perfection, missed the mark, and immediately called the whole thing a failure. (Hi, my name is Christie.) But Atomic Habits taught me to shift my focus from flawless to forward.
Now, I aim to be just 1% better each day. That might mean an extra stretch, a healthier swap, or simply taking a deep breath in a stressful moment. These tiny improvements might not seem groundbreaking, but over time, they’re like compound interest for your life.
This mindset shift feels freeing. When I stop striving for an ideal and simply focus on gradual improvement, there’s a lot less pressure. I’ve realized I don’t need to be everything to everyone, and I certainly don’t need to tackle everything at once. Life’s journey is precious, and sometimes the best thing we can do is to just move forward, one step at a time.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over 40, it’s that life moves fast, and moments of celebration are worth savoring. Instead of waiting for the “big” wins, I’m making it a point to celebrate the little ones. Whether it’s giving myself a pat on the back for sticking to my habit of drinking water or feeling proud of myself for setting aside time to relax, I’ve learned to appreciate every step I take. Celebrating these moments has shifted my focus from “What’s next?” to “Look at what I’ve achieved.”
In this stage of life, these celebrations feel less like rewards and more like affirmations that I’m valuing myself and the journey I’m on.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 40+ years on this planet, it’s that life is too short to wait for the “perfect” time to start prioritizing yourself. Atomic Habits didn’t just teach me how to make changes – it reminded me why they matter.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not about being the best or doing it all. It’s about showing up for yourself, day by day, moment by moment, and creating a life that feels like you.
For anyone else out there, especially women over 40, who might feel like change is overwhelming or out of reach, I hope you know it doesn’t have to be. We don’t have to be all-or-nothing to make meaningful progress. We just have to start where we are, do what we can, and celebrate every small step forward. Because in the end, those little steps make the journey worth it.
Here’s to making every moment count.
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